I find myself thinking quite a lot about last October, lately. Perhaps it’s a romanticized, oft-dreamed-about version, but nonetheless… Last October was magical.
I spent time in one of my favourite cities (Montreal), experienced the most incredible show I have ever been to (Emilie Autumn!!) and was the mad girl I am today, albeit a slightly more emotionally healthy (I like to think so, anyway) and less huge (by that, I mean a size 14-ish rather than a size 18-ish, which feels like a big difference). I was also attending school and excelling there more frequently than I am now. Much more frequently.
This month (February) has been pretty great too:
Last year I hated my body, and this year I’m learning to love it, even though it’s bigger. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills are finally working. I’m poly, out-and-proud. I have an amazing girlfriend and a wonderful boyfriend. Even though my friends and I don’t spend much time together, when we do, words can’t describe how ecstatic I am. I have discovered the brilliance of red velvet cupcakes, champagne and listening to opera while enjoying a bubble bath.
If I keep this up (with some help of course <3) and recreate last October, maybe things will be better than the present and even better than before….
Here’s hoping. xo